The Other Dog

Tanvir Naomi Bush Uncategorized 7 Comments

I have two black dogs at the mo. This one is doing great. (I love her. A LOT. She works ..well…like a dog! She is just fab!)

But the other one has me by the throat and is shaking me hard. I have tried to write it away here but I can’t. I am overwhelmed, flea ridden with anxiety and already autumn is biting when my entire summer seems to have been spent in a hotel room in March.

I am out of whack, off colour, too blue. It keeps welling up ..salt water through my capillaries. Salination I believe…. If people ask me how I am, even in the queue at post office…tears rise up and make me blink. Most embarrassing. With the constant leaking I am beginning to rust.

Meeeooowww. I miss old friends. I miss my colur vision. I miss my cats Pyewacket, Milligan and Small cat who I had to leave behind in Zambia. I miss romance. I miss my old Daewoo. I miss not missing shit.

But I know this is just ‘seasonal adjustment.’ I don’t do well in the upcoming dark and cold and this is the equivalent of winter PMS. Pre Murky Season Syndrome. Plus it has been hard to stay up beat and perky these last few months. And now a reaction to ‘perk’ is natural. I will be back to my old self shortly.
In the meantime here are a couple more pictures of the mutt to make you smile whilst I locate mine again.
I WILL be back shortly!!

Comments 7

  1. I'm not a big fan of fall either – it makes me sad to see the leaves change. But I don't like parades either – I think they're sad too. Don't know why.

    I was in Zambia in the 80s – lived in Lusaka for a year and a half.

  2. Congrats on the beautiful dog and b*ll*cks to deep, dark winter. It is depressing to see the cold rolling in – but inevitable.

    I hope a few warm licks from the nice dog (not the nasty one) will help prevent ongoing rusting.
    x

  3. Tanvir, I am a bit slow today, at first I thought you had two *actual* dogs. Jesus. As always, you write so very well about shitty things, and I send you my very best wishes you feel better soon. (I am lucky not to have autumn blues, I quite like hunkering down for winter, and I love autumn clothes, I just want lots of polonecks and long boots.) x

  4. The gloom is getting to me too; I never thought (realised?) I was so depressed until I spent a *real* summer again in the sunshine and heat. I can't wait to get out of here again; I feel I can't bear one more damn day of grey rain and that if happens one more time I'll be crushed under the hopelessness.

    Which I'm sure is making you feel better, right? LOL Sorry–but you are so not alone in this. I hope the good black dog will chase the bad one away, or better yet tear it to pieces. Surely big dog hugs help at least a bit?

    Or write your book with that wonderful bittersweet-funny style of yours, and make a million, so you can have a house in the sun to retreat to when things get bad.
    Hoping for sunny days ahead for us all—
    x

  5. Post
    Author

    Hey there Bug. You were in Zed? Whereabouts? perhaps we met in the school hols or summat? have you ever thought of going back for a visit? MUCH different now.

    Thanks Mud, and indeed the licking and the lolling about seem to help with the rust build up! She is a very hot dog and I am having mostly much fun with her apart from occassional battles about whcih direction we are going in..usually becasue I don't know my left from right..she is more then often correct.

    Hi NMJ, you and another dear pal have reminded me about the cosiness of winter..boots and polo necks indeed! I think its just the sudden loss of light but certainly if i think (hard) there is much to be said for ice and sleet and stuff..no really!

    Thanks for the empathy Susan – yep the SAD season is upon us. I am already coming out of the blue pit I was in, partly because it seems the MA is on again (having been told it was off..) so feeling purposeful again! I prefer big wide blue skies but for a few months i can manage – with a purpose! Writing that book and getting that villa on the MED!! You could come out and run writing courses in the holidays!

    Thank you very much Richard! You are really kind. I don't know very much about Bath so might have to ask you for tips! i'll be taking Grace for a recce soon…will keep you posted. (greaatly enjoying the lodgeblog! Must remember to link you!)

    Tanvi x

  6. AAAh I so know how you feel. Maybe we should both take a trip out to see your dad and spend time working in his hospice….or maybe it would be just as effective to bring on the sauvignon blanc lunch we have been talking about Lx

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