Ahh..the sights and smells of the Addenbrookes Eye Unit eh? The first hour’s wait is always the most charming..all those pleasant, relaxed patients chatting amicably, the serene staff, the accessible corridors and comfy seats..oh hang on. Actually that was the second hour when I fell asleep. The first hour was ..well the opposite of that. Plus it was paediatric ophthalmology clinic day. Dozens of toddlers and visual impaired people is not the best mix but it can be pretty funny.
Anyway turns out that there is nothing more wrong then usual in my eyes. What happened was probably a complication of the cystic macular oedema, a cystic rupture and the pain and sensitivity..well that just part of the two for one offer you get with RP. After several tests I finally am sat across from a pale, thin, blonde woman in a pigtail. (She may not have been quite as blonde as I think only my eyes were still full of yellow gel from the previous tests.) She is young. For some reason this makes me feel ‘fobbed off’ which is ageist I know. She can tell me absolutely nothing and I can feel her wanting to glance at her watch. Its lunchtime.
I forget, because I am trying to be a grown up, to shout, ‘what would YOU do if it were you? I need answers! I want it to stop. Make it stop!’ at her. I forget to lie on the floor and shriek with rage and demand cocaine based pain relief. I forget to demand to see someone over 30. She gives me the usual tired smile and metaphorical pat on the shoulder. I thank her politely. I go home.
Later I am being bored to death…sorry..chatted up by the taxi driver when I notice he has gone quiet. I glance up and se him looking at me nervously in his rear view mirror. I had forgotten about the yellow gel. I grin evilly hoping my vampire look will forever stick in his chubby mind..