It is a very hot day and the woman who is leading the session for us long term, dole scum is fixated with the air conditioner. She is a large red-faced, golden haired, small -eyed woman in her mid 20’s who keeps informing us, for no particular reason ,that she was in the Girl Guides. She is breath takingly patronising and embodies the word ‘bustle’.When later we learn she rows and mentors a group of army cadets a slow sad […]
Saturday night and i aint got no body.
Summer on a Saturday night. I stand in my garden where all to me is a beautiful indeterminate, soft, green fuzz. In the neighbours’ gardens children sing and play and adults bang hammers and light fires; the smell of burnt sausages and tizz- crack of cans all around. I should be watching the film on the DVD. It is on and playing but I can’t be still. Much as I love being alone NO ONE is that happy about being […]
Lady of Shalott (or she who has waaaay to much time on her hands.)
Skin My face feels soft In my hands Like an old person’s . The suede skin Absorbant Slightly sticky Dying I am scared Out of my skin By My skin.
Luck of the Irish
I have a sore throat. Its sunny and I have a sore throat. Not only that but I also ache and want to sleep. All the time. And my nose is thinking of running. Sunshine and snot do not, I tell thee, make for a good summer.And- she whimpers – things are not going too well in the old wallet. Today I had to wash my hair with soap and the dregs of a conditioner I found from a left […]
Holey Mother
I am alone..finally after three weeks of constant high alert and squeezing between spaces and egos I am alone. The fridge in the empty flat buzzes and ticks. The turtle doves call softly. The wind knocks sunshine around in the garden… I feel my body bubble expand and burst open. Still in blue kimono dressing gown I sit in the middle of a Sunday morning and I let out a long breath…
Clotted cream and crab sandwiches
Cambridge last week and Dad and I head over to the car and then he stops short. I look closer too and yes..someone has slashed our tyre. Not just slashed.. Eviscerated. Apparently they didn’t like us parking in front of their house. I can see their net curtains twitching as we struggle with the spanner and the flat, spare tyre and Dad’s knuckles get bloody trying to wind the ridiculous jack. I wonder if I should phone the cops but […]
Bit of a squeeze
I’m on the 21:15 train from London to Cambridge and I find a whole four seat to stretch out in. I am in merry heaven but just as the doors close and I sigh with relief to be finally heading home, three rotund, rosy English middle managers squeeze in, pushing bags and coats and me into the far corner. They are tired and slightly pissed. They have been on a work jaunt to Paris. They want to chat. I try […]
Pistons at dawn.
I am not enamoured of steam engines. I don’t get a thrill out of the guts of old motor vehicles and nor do I give a fig for ancient aircraft. So when yesterday I was forced into a ‘family do’ at an air show in Shuttleworth I knew I was going to be in for a tad of a dull afternoon. In fact as we arrived in the pouring rain to see hundreds of soggy anorak-clad oldies watching nothing happen […]
Holey father.
My flat is too small for my father. He is a guest so gets the only bedroom. I get the futon that seems to be made of rough chipboard with added concrete and I set up camp in the living room. Each morning at 7:30 he is already awake and bored and ready to continue his holiday. My father has worse ADHD then a small child with a coke problem AND he is my father and wants constant companionship from […]