Okay, I reckon there is still time.
It is Tuesday night and the launch is on Friday. If I don’t eat, do fifty lunges, 100 press-ups and a thousand

Captain Plastic
stretches each hour, I can probably lose the weight and gain the two inches that I feel I need to face the public. I don’t see any real problem with this…apart from the eye thing. Ah…
You see I had cataract surgery two weeks ago and am not supposed to do too much bending, heavy lifting or jumping up and down. I shall blame my current state of podge on that then. ‘Oh this, I shall say whipping up my blouse to expose my shivering pale expanse of belly to the gathered crowds. ‘This is the fault of Bristol Eye Hospital. I would have been whippet-like by now if it hadn’t been for those pesky ophthalmologists. ‘
The good thing is I get to wear the cyber punk-tastic plastic eye piece when travelling or sleeping. I asked if I could have a plastic cyber punk parrot to go with it but I think they thought that was just the effect of the sedation post-surgery.
It wasn’t.
I am nervous. Can you tell?
However, I have got the most incredible team of lunatic volunteers to help put on a bit of a show. Bill and Trish from this incredible organisation https://www.makebelievearts.co.uk/ are helping along with friends and family.
So, come if you can and if you can’t, watch this space as we are having a short film made and will stick it up on this here website! And if you ask nicely, I might even post you a bit of cake!