Bit weary and still waiting I saw the bloody child’s handprint on the crumbling walls of the Chinese school this week. Don’t think I didn’t hear the general in Rangoon laughing his billionaire head off. The woman running to the police station in Jo’burg tripped and her baby flew over her head and broke his nose on the tarmac but was too terrified to cry and she picked him up and they ran on. I saw that. I saw that […]
Unknown knowns…
Funnily enough I quite enjoyed the interview even though I spent the next 24 hours shaking and occasionally squeaking ‘Oh my GOD…did I say that? They must think I am an idiot!!’ (It is amazing what comes out of my mouth when I am under pressure.)
Cambridge? Pooh!
I don’t mean to be rude but Cambridge smells of poo. Really and tru-ooly. Obviously I checked my ‘personal space’ and then the flat but when I went outside the poo smell got worse. At the CAB offices I consult Gorgeous George the Computer Man.
Oh Superman!
Boris, Burma and a volcano in Chile. Hmmm…it has been mentioned that Boris has something that does look surprisingly like three small sixes tattooed on his bottom and a tendency to catch fire near churches. Could it really be just a coincidence?
Nappy Martinis, Extra Dry
There was a faint pong of dirty nappies and gin in the airport lounge where I waited for my flight back from New York. I would have moved but my hangover was too great and the slightest movement makes me more nauseous. I had taken the bus from Toronto to Buffalo last Thursday. At the US border I had been shown, with excessive use of the word ‘ma’am’, to a holding pen full of other dodgy foreigners and left to […]
Hobo squirrels
I thought Dennis my UK yob of a squirrel was rude but here the squirrels are actually a little frightening. They have black fur and less puffy tails so more ‘rat-like’ AND they go through the rubbish like old pro’s. They are completely unfazed by humanity, often standing in groups and yelling obscenities at passing people.
Tinku or bust
The Tinku Gallery opening was lovely. Lights, flowers, smart people and erudite conversation. No, really! My friend, A looked very glamorous and elegant in a crafted little black number and just the right earrings. She had lent me a dress that had a neckline that plunged so dramatically it was just managing to cling precariously to decency. This would have been fine had I the confidence to carry it off but I kept having to glance down at my own […]
The end of the influenza
Ok, I admit it. I am still not 100% . I am still snuffling and snorting and aching. Its been weeks now and I had had enough this morning. I am in Toronto after all. The sun is shining and the weather is sweet (yeah Marley maaan!)
Man flu
My mini man flu flattened me. My head felt as if it had swollen to twice its size and my sight got as foggy as my brain. Even today, three days later I am still in pyjamas and still feeling as if I have been on a very long uphill walk when the truth is I have done nothing but lie down.
Blimey!!
‘Blimey!!’ I am standing in the bathroom peering in the mirror with a steri-strip thermometer plastered to my sweaty forehead. I am trying to read my temperature but it looks to me like I am in rigor mortis. Fuzzy and aching I find the magnifier and after a long and complicated thought process manage to turn the thing the right way around. I am not actually cold but boiling. I have a fever. I am sick. ‘Cripes.’